I actually came to Mom's on Wednesday; I was having a rough week and needed a bit of a break. I finally figured out why this semester has been especially hard. On top of Evan being gone two days from 7:30-6:00 and three days from 6:30-8:30 and studying on weekends and weeknights, he has also had to go cold turkey...no drugs. Okay, no caffeine, I mean. ;-) Do you know what that does??
However, he did decide to take Friday off, and he came here Thursday night. He still needs caffeine, though. ;-) He said that he's starting to slowly add some back in, and he's trying to be "responsible" with it. ha ha ha Poor thing, I do feel badly for him. I just feel more badly for myself (is that EVEN correct grammar??).
My other issue is Nathan. I am at a loss with him. I feel like a terrible mother who has no clue what to do with her child. I know yelling at him is not right, but that definitely happens around here. I know I have not been as consistent as I need to be, but somedays I'm not even sure that that is the problem. He has BOUNDLESS energy and constantly thinks of things to do. The problem is, I do not always see eye-to-eye with him on those ideas. He also has not been listening well.
Okay, now I'm back home. I didn't get to finish the above post, but I thought I would just add on. ha!
I am still thinking of ways to have more one-on-one time with Nathan. He actually rode back from OKC with his daddy today, and he seems to be happy as a clam. :-) I was going to try to follow some sort of schedule this week, but we got him a new bunkbed this weekend. Not going to happen. I am going to be trying desperately to get my chaotic house back in order. I should write a book "If You Buy a Kid a New Bed..." Yeah, we had to take down the old bunkbed, take out our the guest bed, move Noelle's bed to the green/guest room, put up the new bunkbed, take my vanity out of my room (soooo not necessary), put the computer desk in our room, and generally make a huge mess in our house.
Anyway, I think one of my biggest problems in parenting is my own pride. I really thought I could turn out better children than this. Isn't that awful?? So true, though. I get embarrassed by the fact that my child doesn't treat me like a drill sergeant and obey every word as I say it. I get embarrassed that my child wants to "injure" the trees at the state park during our guided tour by hitting them with a stick or doesn't want to stay on the path behind the guide. (Honestly, I will not subject him to that again.) I find myself getting so frustrated with him; but, as I tell Evan over and over, he has a wonderful heart. Doesn't that sound so like a mother? ;-) I think I'm just going to cut down on our activities and stay home with him more. Novel idea, huh? He just does well when we chill and when I chill.
Gotta run! I think I'll publish now since this week is going to be busy.
1 comment:
I am right there with you. And I am remembering what you said when you had Moelle, that you had to get to know Nathan all over again after being on bedrest so long. I THINK we've come a long way from last Sunday but we have a long way to go. Same thing here - pride, needing to stat home and focus, trying to get a schedule, and cutting out things to concentrate on the most important- for me it seems to be phone calls cause I totally lose them when I am distracted. My mom told me tonight that the uncertainty is a really good thing because it's when we get confident that we get cocky and it needs to be where we know any current or ultimate good is only ny God's grace not by our good parentness. So nice to know we're in the same boat this week - praying for you and may God have mercy on all of us ! Let's try to talk sometime!
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