Therapy

I am not having a good day.  I thought about my blog and decided that maybe I should play catch-up, with the highlights, anyway.
Christmas was crazy.  Leading up to Christmas was a crazy blur of getting a will hashed out (insanity, just insanity), getting Christmas things ready, and getting ready to come home after a week in Texas to spend five days at home and leave for Hawai'i.  I started having small panic attacks before Christmas. 
Once we got to MeeMaw and PeePaw's, I started to relax.  Christmas Eve is the day that Mom's whole family generally spends at MeeMaw and PeePaw's, and it started beautifully.  I was even thinking that I could do the whole "fly to Hawai'i" thing.  My stomach was beginning to unknot.  It was not meant to last.
The day was beautiful, so most of the family was at various places on PeePaw's land.  Shooting guns, cutting down an old telephone pole, and other activities were happening.  MeeMaw had come down with something (probably the flu) and was in bed.  She, Aunt L, and Noelle were all taking naps in the house.  I had been observing the telephone pole cutting when I was fetched by a funny-looking father to go practice shooting my gun (that stupid thing is too small...I need something bigger).  I shot the gun many times and was just starting to get two rounds off back-to-back in generally the same location (after I stopped closing my eyes...no kidding, I have to squeeze the trigger almost an HOUR before the thing fires!) when someone brought Nathan down to where we were.  Evan doesn't like Nathan around handguns, so I just said that I'd walk him up to the house.  My thumb felt like it was about to fall off, anyway. 
I walked him up to the house and got him something to snack on.  MeeMaw was awake when I checked on her, but Noelle and Aunt L were still sleeping.  MeeMaw told me that she was headed to the bathroom, so I reminded her not to lock the door (very stubborn, that one is) and promised to guard it.  ;-)  I checked on her a couple of times with "You okay?"  and "Yes" being the answer.  I just saw my cousin and her husband drive up and was about to go help them unload when I thought I would check on MeeMaw first.  My question got a "no" for an answer. 
I went in and found a very sick grandma.  I gave her a wet washcloth and kept talking to her...she started slurring her answers and finally slumped over.  Thankfully I was right there and kept her from falling completely over.  She was out.  I started calling for my aunt and praying.  My aunt finally came, and then she got my cousin.  They asked if they should call 911.  I said I didn't know what else to do; MeeMaw was still out.  I was singing by this time.  I had no idea what to do.  She looked dead.
Mom finally came in (my cousin's hub had found her outside first), and we later teased that if MeeMaw had bruises it would be Mom's fault.  I finally could tell that MeeMaw was breathing, but it was a bit longer before she started coming out of it.  Of course, as soon as she heard someone say something about 911 she cut her eyes at me.  I told her that she could NOT scare me like that and get mad that we called 911 (who still hadn't arrived due to the fact that they live in the boondocks).
By the time 911 DID arrive, she was in bed and feeling better.  I, however, was not.  At one point I honestly thought my grandma was dying in my arms and nobody was around to hear me.  Poor PeePaw was pitiful.  He had been told to come to the house because MeeMaw was not doing good, and he was teary eyed when he came in. 
I got sick (I think my stomach rebelled to all the stress) that evening and spent the rest of the night in bed.  I had been trying NOT to think of mortality more than I should, but it was kind of dumped in my lap.  :-)  MeeMaw was sick the rest of the time we were there, and I'm so thankful we were there because no one else was around and my aunt and uncle who live there got the flu, too.
So, anyway, at the end of the week we came home to pack and get ready for Hawai'i. 
I started getting the crud that Nathan, Noelle, and Evan had already had right after we got home.  Two nights in a row I got no sleep because I was coughing so much.  Then we headed to my parents' house to take the kids.
(I'm getting tired of typing...this is why I haven't tried to catch up before now.)
Maybe I will write the rest in a bit.